Staying at b greens, lowest point of my life, I am in agonizing hell. When this feeling creeps in death feels close, and to some degree I want it.

With what little energy I have been given today I just want to be grateful for some of the amazing people around me and the gifts they give me. I would be nothing without them, I would be dead without them. Sitting watching Anthony Bourdain is bliss, I miss him so bad. If I had a 1/10 the life he had I would be content.